When older
children for adoption are given a new home to live in, it can be a challenge
for both the child and the adoptive family that is welcoming him or her. It is
not uncommon for older kids for adoption to feel threatened because of such a
huge change in the way they live. He or she may have feelings of skepticism
about the love and care given by an adoptive family on top of the stress felt
from having to change homes so many times early in his or her life.
What is the first step in establishing trust with older children
for adoption?
One way to approach a situation to earn trust in
kids for adoption is to give a sense of predictability and settlement. This
will lead to the child gaining confidence that they need to overcome their
continued anxiety they have been experiencing for most of their lives. Adoptive
parents should establish a routine that reoccurs again and again until children
for adoption become used to it.
This is especially important because it gives kids
for adoption a sense of security and it will help them feel “rooted” within
a family. All of their lives, they have moved from one setting to another,
unsure of where they would end up and with everything being temporary and
ever-changing. When they finally feel a sense of permanent structure in their
lives after awhile, it will soon be time for the children for adoption to be
given a little bit of excitement in addition to the established routines. As
the kids for adoption become older in their teens, they can gradually be freed,
like any child, to establish their own identities.
Weekly Routines
An adoptive parent can begin this process by
starting a weekly event. It does not have to be a choir; it can be something
that the child enjoys doing, such as creating an ice cream float TV night.
Children for adoption will see this reoccurring event as a way of healing. If
one idea for a weekly event does not work, try another and adjust it to the
child’s liking.
Once a weekly event with older kids for adoption
is successful, it is likely to help further to add other reoccurring events.
You can have music nights or bedtime story nights as well. The events are only
limited to a parent’s imagination. Making them fun and educational is also an
added bonus.
Parents of kids for adoption should also think
about making normal events that other families take for granted as well. These
activities can include teeth brushing or snack time. Soon, the children for
adoption will begin to recognize and anticipate events. This will help them
feel as if they belong within a family and give themselves a better sense of
belonging.
If older children bring other ideas for routines
that they are used to do, this could help considerably, especially if it brings
along a happy memory for them. The key is to place them in a comfortable
situation and allow them to relive happy events, something that they are not
used to doing.
